Dictated by internal math

It looks like you survived another session of personal details.

After all, we all eat, sleep, and play, work or study. Most of us have friends and families. Our experiences ought to be similar. In turn, it means that we should be able to identify and sympathize with almost anyone on earth.

If I remember correctly, you could no longer bear listening to what you just described as common experiences of humanity.

I can explain myself better. It's the dose...

The very best food stays that way only if you stop eating it while you still want more of it.

...and the perspective that are crucial.

The view, the light, the angle... Anything can be interesting when its picture is taken by a gifted photographer, put on stage by a talented company, performed by an artistic musician, or told by a skillful storyteller. Come to think of it, the adjective, oblique, means indirect or evasive.

If something is not of an oblique angle, it is of a right angle or a multiple of a right angle.

I don't think it implies that being direct is correct.

It certainly depends on the situation, but I am of the opinion that insinuations are much more effective in the long run than making your thoughts too clear.

Think about the chill that runs along the spine when the message is finally understood!

That chill can be from joy or... It is effective, because it makes you realize that you had stayed ignorant up to that point. In other words, you have made a fool of yourself. Since the message is indirect, you start examining the situation yourself, and that gradually. It is almost like taking slow-working medicine/poison unknowingly before going to bed every night.

And one day... Quelle horreur ! Ah non, quelle joie ! It could be that, too, I hope.

It is powerful, because you reach the conclusion on your own.

We would not want to put a good friend in that position if the message is negative, do we?

That is true, but there are limits, as always. I don't want to tell a person that I get tired of listening to the-tip-of-my-cat's-tail-hasn't-been-quite-right, I-am-spending-too-much-time-on-the-phone-but-I-don't-know-what-to-do, I-thought-Barber-A-was-decent-but-he-isn't-and-I-much-prefer-Barber-Z-now, all-my-neighbors-are-either-boring-or-nasty, my-distant-relative-who-lives-far-away-ran-away-from-home, etc., etc., etc. That would make me an evil person.

It's all about you, eh? Don't you care about the person to whom you would be saying that?

As I said, I would never say anything like that. I know that I would feel very bad, thinking about the psychological damage that I would have inflicted. And, that is the deterrent.

Put differently, you don't want to make someone feel bad, because that would make you feel bad---correct?

The most reliable source of our actions is biological impulses that directly concern ourselves.

Not again!

Sadly, we will always go back to that one. But don't get it wrong, it certainly does not mean that we are all destined to act like savages.

I thought almost everyone expect us was a savage...

The trick is to how to program morality into your biology.

How can you do that?

Emotions are based on biochemical reactions, and we can train ourselves so that we would feel psychological pain when we envisage engaging in immoral acts.

Do I have to sign up for a brain-washing camp?

Some of our psychological reactions are innate, but we can also experience an event that creates a response pattern to similar ones.

The stronger the emotions invoked by an event are, the more entrenched that pattern would be. If it is too negative, it can wreck you for good. Is this how it works?

In order to make use of our biological processes to meet our needs, conscious management of our emotions is required.

May I ask how you manage yours, ahem?

It may sound trivial, but just summarizing your experience in words in your mind reinforces your view of it.

This was good, I would like to do it again. That was bad, I hope I don't have to get into that situation any more. If I do, I would like to act differently. That kind of stuff?

Exactly, our thoughts are based on biochemical reactions, just as emotions are.

Thinking about what you want to do would help realizing it. I think we talked about this one.

That was more about life goals, but the principle applies to mundane acts as well. Anyway, are you now convinced that the very source of our behavior is biology, but the mechanism is alterable by our conscious efforts to do so?

Doesn't it mean, though, that we only do what brings us pleasure?

In effect, yes.

I know that I wouldn't feel good if I leave dirty dishes in the sink overnight, but I occasionally do.

I would say that the pain of washing the dishes immediately is larger than the pain of seeing them next morning still dirty. It may appear like a stupid act, but I don't think it is.

Really?

Lately, I have been amazed how complicated a calculation we carry out on deciding what to do.

Aren't the calculations sometimes wrong?

I used to think that way, but I no longer believe so. You may not be able to verbalize how you reached your conclusion, but your mind with all the biological inputs have done the intricate calculation for you. You choose to let the dirt on your dishes cake overnight if the biochemical output says so.

Where is my consciousness, then?

It is possible that on certain occasions you think, "No, I don't want to see caked food on my dishes tomorrow morning. I am going to do the dishes tonight." Your conscious thinking makes you overcome your unconscious thinking.

If both thinking are biochemical, shouldn't the result be the same at any time?

I guess your willingness to wash the dishes right away is weak. Not entrenched, so to speak. Sometimes the chemicals work to make that feeling strong, other times not. If you think about it more strongly, I am sure that you will be able to trigger that reaction every time.

What about drug addiction and such? Many people do want to quit, but many also do not manage.

We do need our will, but the environment affects it. For example, what if there is no prospect of finding a job, even for drug-free people? It is better to stay addicted and feel good. There is little incentive to quit, and that diminishes our desire to do so.

I'd say that is the same with people who engage in one crime after another.

I agree. Some people know that there is little to lose by engaging to criminal acts. They may not be able to explain it so, but their desperation is supported by nothing other than their biochemical reactions in their mind. We all do intricate math in our heads without knowing its precise mechanism.

We can run without being able to explain how to move which muscle at a given moment. It's akin to that.

We also know people who remain in so-called bad relationships. I'd say that they have done their calculations, too, and the outcomes tell them to keep the relationships.

You can listen to others' complaints and pretend that you are a nice person, as long as you can complain to me about them---is this what you are implying?

Consciousness is required for the job

There you are!

I'm not late, am I?

No, you're not. But, it seems like we have settled into this pattern of meeting every other week. I thought it was supposed to be every week.

I would like to make it that often, but things are a bit hectic right now.

Isn't that your excuse when you don't have anything to complain about? It seems like only when you do, you call a meeting to give me an earful.

I am shocked to hear that you think our talks are like that! I thought we were aiming for truly meaningful conversations like Plato's.

You mean, Symposium, the Republic, etc.?

Of course.

Let's say we can't stop anyone from aiming high. Think also about the psychological suffering that your statement may give to the admirers of Plato. Remember when we got comments from random people because of our chat about oxygen masks?

Talking about goals and such, I think role models are important in our lives.

Isn't it interesting that we can take advantage of our innate behavior to ape others?

We unconsciously mimic the ones around us. We also do to others what others did to us, again without any explicit plan to replicate.

That's why many who are molested as children grow up to become child molesters.

In general, any kind of abuse of the younger tends to be passed on from generation to generation. The role models are different from such cases, because we consciously decide that we want to be like them. In other words, you are supplementing your biological urge to imitate with recognition that you want to make use of it, but in a selective manner.

Most people cannot vision an ideal person from the abstract, and thus, are need of more concrete examples?

For most, there is a big gap between understanding in theory and applying that theory to real-life situations.

That includes you, I suppose?

It is true that sometimes I do not have a satisfactory solution as to how to behave in certain situations for a long time. I keep on observing until I encounter a good one. In that sense, the answer is yes. But I also learn from what I don't like about people. In many such cases, I only have to adopt a strategy that is opposite of what I see.

Doesn't it help to be exposed to people from different cultures?

Some cultures handle certain difficult situations so well, whereas other cultures do not; it is better to have contact with as many cultures as possible. The problem is that when I am in Lilliput, I become exasperated by what I see as undesirable behavior and would never be witnessed in Laputa. While I am in Laputa, I get incensed by what I think is undesirable behavior and would never be seen in Lilliput.

It gives you more exposure to both good and bad ways.

People with such background often become some kind of a chameleon as a result.

Did you ever have a role model?

No, I shun anything that has a hint of personal cult. I like copying bits and pieces from all over the place.

It fits your self-description as a chameleon. Do you prefer yourself that way?

Naturally. It comes with a stamp of approval from Blaise Pascal! "Le centre du monde est partout."

I somehow knew that this was all leading to your self-aggrandisement...

More seriously, the thoughts about role models have made me re-evaluate the perennial principle of life that we mentioned very briefly, namely, ask-and-shall-be-given type of teachings and advice. I realize that role models are variant of that, and as I believe in the power of role models, I began to think that ask-and-shall-be-given may have a grain of truth in it.

After all, almost any culture has a proverb to that effect.

Role models are different from the generic ask-and-shall-be-given in that we make use of our biological nature to mimic.

If you now think the ask-and-shall-be-given principle is valid, how do you explain the fact that there are thousands of millions of people who wish to be billionaires, but are not?

Let's say most of us have to start from setting a goal. Wanting to be rich and famous wouldn't make you so overnight, but having that explicit goal may help you keep your antennas tuned for appropriate opportunities. I think it is quite remarkable that we can steer the course of our lives and control what kind of persons we become with our desire as the principal tool.

That would not happen to other animals.

Goal setting is the mechanism that makes our mimicking selective; we do not follow any example, but the examples that we have chosen and approved. I believe that selective mimicking occurs among animals, too, but in a less conscious manner, of course. What differentiates homo sapiens from others is that we do not have to be in direct contact with the person who is our role model.

Any autobiography can be a good substitute for a live role model.

On a slightly different note, I am getting terribly annoyed with people who literally beg for attention. They are the ones who haven't thought about goals.

Some people ask for your attention? They must be quite desperate.

Dropping a stupid line to get a response is just a starter. In some cases, they tell me how much time they have on their hands and how bored they are.

Just a stupid line? You, on the other hand, babble all the time!

Okay, I do, but not to get attention. Complaining how bored you are is exactly what you should avoid to get people's attention. Who would want to spend time with someone who cannot even take care of her/himself? Anyway, my point here is about attraction. It seems that you cannot become an attractive person worthy of attention, unless you aim for it.

In other words, all attractive people actually think that they are attractive?

At least, they think they want to be so and they have thought about how they should go about it. I think the same applies to people who have managed to set themselves apart in various ways. It could be something as simple as dressing well, or as complicated as becoming recognized as a maverick. Or, mastering some skills and techniques. Consciousness is required for all of these.

But that can make people conceited.

I agree. There is a fine line between, for example, people who want to appear as cultivated persons and those who want to be cultivated persons. Being truly cultivated sometimes requires us to want to appear cultivated.

Now tell me, have you ever tried to set yourself above the hoi polloi in any of your bizzard ways?

The funny thing is that if you start thinking that you yourself is attractive, you can convince some people that you are, and that without becoming truly attractive.

I'm surprised that you think I've got such charisma.

It was a generic 'you'!