Happiness and unhappiness are usually presented as a pair, something that neatly divides the world into two halves.
And we struggle everyday to eliminate the unhappy half.
We say to ourselves that there are happy moments and unhappy moments, good times as well as bad times. Do you really think this world is symmetric in that sense?
Isn't it like a stock market? We never have bull market all the time, but not always bear market, either. It's even a proverb in many languages: every cloud has a silver lining; après la pluie, le beau temps; después de la tormenta, llega la calma...
But they don't refer to the ratio of the two. If we are prone to be happy as much as unhappy, why aren't there as many positive comments on the Internet as negative ones?
I see a lot of rave reviews for what I think is not so great.
Well, I do, too. But there is always one, sometimes more, hate comment, and that tends to spoil the entire experience.
If we have built-in inclination to hate, as we discussed a bit last time, and if our happiness is as fragile as you purport it to be, what kind of world do we live in?
I guess we are coming to agreement. Think about it, when you come back home from work or school, do you report good news more often than bad ones?
You shouldn't think everybody is like you. I talk about the beautiful flowers I saw on the way back, a nice display window that I found, an announcement for a concert that would be interesting to attend...
What about people? Suppose someone you don't know on the street gives you a condescending look for a reason unknown to you. Wouldn't that ruin your evening?
It could, but I know that it's a bad idea to focus on a trivial event like that. Besides, how can I be sure that it was condescension and that it was directed at me?
But you have to force yourself not to think about it.
True, but training yourself not to be disturbed by such things is easy.
It requires conscious effort, though. In contrast, talking about it comes more easily.
Is that what you have been referring to as asymmetry? If so, it is the same with good things that happen to us. It is easier to talk about them than not to.
I'd still say that the degree of "passion" tends to be higher for unpleasant events. Plus, they make better conversation fodder than pleasant ones.
Let me try here... "I saw an unusually lush bush of bougainvillea, today. It was very beautiful." "Oh, that's nice. Where did you see it?"
"Near the little grocer's at the corner." "Talking about that store, it's annoying that they don't carry any more the kind of olives that I really like." "I've also noticed that they charge much more than they should for organic produce."
You've managed to turn my happy conversation to an exchange of complaints! Perhaps you haven't, but I have experienced many passionate conversations on things that I like: food, places to visit, music, art, literature, and much more.
My take is that people have more things to complain about than to praise. We also tend to get more worked up when complaining. We hear more about people who complain too much than about those who are happy all the time.
That's precisely because we are all complainers; we complain about others' complaints. Is this what you mean?
That's not all. When you see positive sides of things most of the time, people think you are naive at best, and dishonest or conceited at worst. It's jealousy that comes into play, because you manage to be happy.
You may get along well with Catholic theologists. They believe in original sin, you know.
I don't agree with the details of that idea, but I do think they have a point. Without efforts to be otherwise, we remain beastly beings. But rejoice, my dear comrade, we are endowed with this wonderful faculty called consciousness and that allows us to make efforts.
Doesn't it also make you reflect on things in life that you'd rather not think about?
What can I say except that everything is a double-edged sword. If you take more medicine than is prescribed, it doesn't cure you faster, but most likely make you ill in another way and may even kill you. Many people think meditation necessarily brings peace of mind, but you can also deepen your hatred by thinking alone in a dark room.
Or, fear for that matter. What about tools for torture and killing, such as iron maiden and guns? Is there anything good about them?
I was trying to be positive.
You're covering up your sloppiness with your fake optimism!
You are right, optimism requires taking certain facts lightly. But it is not the same as ignoring them. We have invented oblique ways of reference, such as jokes and cynicism, and I am all for optimism generously laced with biting jokes and cynical remarks.
You are aware that people are going to disagree with your definition of "biting jokes"?
Yes, some may say "nasty," but life goes on anyway...
Despite our nastiness and unhappiness.
And we struggle everyday to eliminate the unhappy half.
We say to ourselves that there are happy moments and unhappy moments, good times as well as bad times. Do you really think this world is symmetric in that sense?
Isn't it like a stock market? We never have bull market all the time, but not always bear market, either. It's even a proverb in many languages: every cloud has a silver lining; après la pluie, le beau temps; después de la tormenta, llega la calma...
But they don't refer to the ratio of the two. If we are prone to be happy as much as unhappy, why aren't there as many positive comments on the Internet as negative ones?
I see a lot of rave reviews for what I think is not so great.
Well, I do, too. But there is always one, sometimes more, hate comment, and that tends to spoil the entire experience.
If we have built-in inclination to hate, as we discussed a bit last time, and if our happiness is as fragile as you purport it to be, what kind of world do we live in?
I guess we are coming to agreement. Think about it, when you come back home from work or school, do you report good news more often than bad ones?
You shouldn't think everybody is like you. I talk about the beautiful flowers I saw on the way back, a nice display window that I found, an announcement for a concert that would be interesting to attend...
What about people? Suppose someone you don't know on the street gives you a condescending look for a reason unknown to you. Wouldn't that ruin your evening?
It could, but I know that it's a bad idea to focus on a trivial event like that. Besides, how can I be sure that it was condescension and that it was directed at me?
But you have to force yourself not to think about it.
True, but training yourself not to be disturbed by such things is easy.
It requires conscious effort, though. In contrast, talking about it comes more easily.
Is that what you have been referring to as asymmetry? If so, it is the same with good things that happen to us. It is easier to talk about them than not to.
I'd still say that the degree of "passion" tends to be higher for unpleasant events. Plus, they make better conversation fodder than pleasant ones.
Let me try here... "I saw an unusually lush bush of bougainvillea, today. It was very beautiful." "Oh, that's nice. Where did you see it?"
"Near the little grocer's at the corner." "Talking about that store, it's annoying that they don't carry any more the kind of olives that I really like." "I've also noticed that they charge much more than they should for organic produce."
You've managed to turn my happy conversation to an exchange of complaints! Perhaps you haven't, but I have experienced many passionate conversations on things that I like: food, places to visit, music, art, literature, and much more.
My take is that people have more things to complain about than to praise. We also tend to get more worked up when complaining. We hear more about people who complain too much than about those who are happy all the time.
That's precisely because we are all complainers; we complain about others' complaints. Is this what you mean?
That's not all. When you see positive sides of things most of the time, people think you are naive at best, and dishonest or conceited at worst. It's jealousy that comes into play, because you manage to be happy.
You may get along well with Catholic theologists. They believe in original sin, you know.
I don't agree with the details of that idea, but I do think they have a point. Without efforts to be otherwise, we remain beastly beings. But rejoice, my dear comrade, we are endowed with this wonderful faculty called consciousness and that allows us to make efforts.
Doesn't it also make you reflect on things in life that you'd rather not think about?
What can I say except that everything is a double-edged sword. If you take more medicine than is prescribed, it doesn't cure you faster, but most likely make you ill in another way and may even kill you. Many people think meditation necessarily brings peace of mind, but you can also deepen your hatred by thinking alone in a dark room.
Or, fear for that matter. What about tools for torture and killing, such as iron maiden and guns? Is there anything good about them?
I was trying to be positive.
You're covering up your sloppiness with your fake optimism!
You are right, optimism requires taking certain facts lightly. But it is not the same as ignoring them. We have invented oblique ways of reference, such as jokes and cynicism, and I am all for optimism generously laced with biting jokes and cynical remarks.
You are aware that people are going to disagree with your definition of "biting jokes"?
Yes, some may say "nasty," but life goes on anyway...
Despite our nastiness and unhappiness.
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