Do you know what friends are for?
I don't like the way you look at me.
In general terms, of course, not about any specific case that we know.
To have the kind of fun that is not possible by yourself.
It is easy to say who are your friends as long as you are having fun together---share information on common interests, participate in an event together, exchange jokes that are appreciated by the other, etc.
It's no fun to be with people who are gloomy, angry, bitter, or...
What if a friend of yours makes a comparison between you and her/him aloud and concludes that s/he is better?
Aloud?
How else would I know the comparison and its conclusion?
But what for?
That's precisely my question.
Do you usually come out inferior in that comparison?
Not usually, but always. They must be suffering from some sort of insecurity, I understand that much. What I don't understand is why I am chosen to be the comparison material, and why do they need to let the compared know about the negative outcome.
You must have done something to provoke them.
I swear I have not! You know that I am not into bragging, flaunting and such.
Perhaps your so-called subtle way of showing-off gets on their nerves.
The problem is not much about why it happens, but more about what should I do with them.
I recommend not to slap them in the face.
Don't they cease to be friends the moment they make a comparison such as, "You may have majored in math, but I'm much better at abstract thinking" in front of me?
Had you been talking about intelligence?
No. That line came out of the blue.
Weird... I smell some pent up frustration. Be aware, people have different definitions of friendship.
What about friends who approve of everything you do?
I knew you were one of those skeptical types.
If you like someone, you tend to approve of things that s/he does. It also happens that even when you do not approve of it, you don't say so, because you would not want to upset her/him.
You care about the relationship.
I'm not sure if that is the case, because if you really care about your friend, you must be telling her/him that it is not good.
It depends on what it concerns, though.
True, like the case of a toxic lover turned fiancé/e. Never meddle in others' love affairs.
Suppose you are a professional football player and a son of your very good friend aspires to be one. When you watch him play, you see immediately that he does not have the talent to make it. What do you do?
It may be cruel to encourage him.
On the other hand, you know that you are not God, and...
I am not?
You are not, and you cannot say with absolute certainty that he would fail as a professional player.
These days, I am no longer certain who is telling the truth about me. When they are positive, I don't know whether that is because they are biased as friends, their priority is not to upset me, or something else. When they are negative, I don't know whether they are dumping their frustration about themselves onto me, or being extra nice to tell me the brutal truth.
Ah, your paranoia, again.
The funny thing is that my instincts tell me one way or another.
What's the problem, then?
Instincts are simply instincts, and the rationalist side of me is against putting too much weight on them. Plus, according to my instincts, there are too many people who are insecure and whom I should stay away from.
Do you think you are good as a friend? We should always examine ourselves before turning to others, ahem.
I'm not sure about that one, either. There is always a fine balance between how much to give and to take. It is not exclusively about tangible items, but also about time, effort, thinking capacity, and so on.
According to some, a tutor and a student can be friends, although the the flow of information is one-way. I suppose the tutor gets great satisfaction out of sharing information.
We shouldn't be keeping tallies, but all involved should have a feeling of mutual benefit.
The fact that you think about it suggests that you've got a problem!
What if you ask your friend to do something for you and s/he declines?
I know that some have declined to pose as your lovers for the purpose of discouraging people whom you call totally unsavory admirers.
What if it concerns something on which your happiness depends?
You should never let your well-being be dependent on the state of the world.
But it shows that this friend in question does not understand me, doesn't it?
Perhaps s/he doesn't understand you and/or care about you.
Is s/he a friend then?
As I said, we have different definitions for friends. It may be that s/he wanted to tell you something implicitly, as a friend. Besides, you can't have all of your "friends" think and act as if you were the most important person and event in their lives. That happens only between lovers, and even then, almost exclusively during the honeymoon period.
What about these claims---God loves everyone; he always has you in mind?
God should be nice toward pagans and infidels, too, but...
In her/his own very idiosyncratic way.
I don't like the way you look at me.
In general terms, of course, not about any specific case that we know.
To have the kind of fun that is not possible by yourself.
It is easy to say who are your friends as long as you are having fun together---share information on common interests, participate in an event together, exchange jokes that are appreciated by the other, etc.
It's no fun to be with people who are gloomy, angry, bitter, or...
What if a friend of yours makes a comparison between you and her/him aloud and concludes that s/he is better?
Aloud?
How else would I know the comparison and its conclusion?
But what for?
That's precisely my question.
Do you usually come out inferior in that comparison?
Not usually, but always. They must be suffering from some sort of insecurity, I understand that much. What I don't understand is why I am chosen to be the comparison material, and why do they need to let the compared know about the negative outcome.
You must have done something to provoke them.
I swear I have not! You know that I am not into bragging, flaunting and such.
Perhaps your so-called subtle way of showing-off gets on their nerves.
The problem is not much about why it happens, but more about what should I do with them.
I recommend not to slap them in the face.
Don't they cease to be friends the moment they make a comparison such as, "You may have majored in math, but I'm much better at abstract thinking" in front of me?
Had you been talking about intelligence?
No. That line came out of the blue.
Weird... I smell some pent up frustration. Be aware, people have different definitions of friendship.
What about friends who approve of everything you do?
I knew you were one of those skeptical types.
If you like someone, you tend to approve of things that s/he does. It also happens that even when you do not approve of it, you don't say so, because you would not want to upset her/him.
You care about the relationship.
I'm not sure if that is the case, because if you really care about your friend, you must be telling her/him that it is not good.
It depends on what it concerns, though.
True, like the case of a toxic lover turned fiancé/e. Never meddle in others' love affairs.
Suppose you are a professional football player and a son of your very good friend aspires to be one. When you watch him play, you see immediately that he does not have the talent to make it. What do you do?
It may be cruel to encourage him.
On the other hand, you know that you are not God, and...
I am not?
You are not, and you cannot say with absolute certainty that he would fail as a professional player.
These days, I am no longer certain who is telling the truth about me. When they are positive, I don't know whether that is because they are biased as friends, their priority is not to upset me, or something else. When they are negative, I don't know whether they are dumping their frustration about themselves onto me, or being extra nice to tell me the brutal truth.
Ah, your paranoia, again.
The funny thing is that my instincts tell me one way or another.
What's the problem, then?
Instincts are simply instincts, and the rationalist side of me is against putting too much weight on them. Plus, according to my instincts, there are too many people who are insecure and whom I should stay away from.
Do you think you are good as a friend? We should always examine ourselves before turning to others, ahem.
I'm not sure about that one, either. There is always a fine balance between how much to give and to take. It is not exclusively about tangible items, but also about time, effort, thinking capacity, and so on.
According to some, a tutor and a student can be friends, although the the flow of information is one-way. I suppose the tutor gets great satisfaction out of sharing information.
We shouldn't be keeping tallies, but all involved should have a feeling of mutual benefit.
The fact that you think about it suggests that you've got a problem!
What if you ask your friend to do something for you and s/he declines?
I know that some have declined to pose as your lovers for the purpose of discouraging people whom you call totally unsavory admirers.
What if it concerns something on which your happiness depends?
You should never let your well-being be dependent on the state of the world.
But it shows that this friend in question does not understand me, doesn't it?
Perhaps s/he doesn't understand you and/or care about you.
Is s/he a friend then?
As I said, we have different definitions for friends. It may be that s/he wanted to tell you something implicitly, as a friend. Besides, you can't have all of your "friends" think and act as if you were the most important person and event in their lives. That happens only between lovers, and even then, almost exclusively during the honeymoon period.
What about these claims---God loves everyone; he always has you in mind?
God should be nice toward pagans and infidels, too, but...
In her/his own very idiosyncratic way.
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