Killings, destruction of houses and other buildings, deprivation of basic goods and services... fear, anger, trauma, hunger... Basically, lives and dignity taken away.
I wasn't that much informed then, but I was immediately puzzled as to why such things take place. My mother told me that it was a fight between nations.
She didn't think about civil or ethnic wars.
Apparently not. Anyway, I could not believe that grown-ups fight, too. I had always been told to resolve conflicts amicably, without resorting to yelling, cursing, or exercising violence.
I've noticed that you get very upset when you are yelled at.
I just can't take yelling, not even loud voices. More than often, they are patronizing and condescending.
It may not be that bad, all the time, but some self-righteousness does come with high volume. You are loud when you think you are worth being heard.
Getting back to what a war is, I said, "What? Grown-ups fight, too, like us kids?"
Your parents didn't fight or quarrel?
I don't think they were into co-ed wrestling. They wouldn't quarrel, either. They just stopped talking to each other when there was a disagreement, and that didn't last so long.
You hadn't seen any fighting on the streets?
I grew up in a peaceful society where yelling is a grave offense.
But people are nasty in other ways, I bet.
My next question was what do grown-ups fight over. Somewhere in my mind, I knew that the fights I get into were rather petty, and I couldn't imagine that adults' fights would be equally trivial.
Calling names, insulting the other's parents and siblings, telling lies, breaking promises, snatching the other's possession... Unfortunately, these are the acts people engage themselves in even when they are so-called adults.
"This is our alleyway, so you guys are not allowed to play here." "Who says?" "We were here first and declared this one ours, so you go somewhere else."
Yes, territory disputes as well. Did your mother admit that grown-ups fight just as kids do?
She said "yes" in a very low voice and shrugged. I further asked why they fought with each other while telling us not to. She said I should finish my dinner.
Double standards are not exactly the trick you want your children to pick up---not too soon, at least.
That was when I realized that adults are bunch of, without knowing the word, hypocrites.
You loathed becoming a hypocrite so much that you decided not to become a grown-up.
Brilliant deduction!
Congratulations, you have partly succeeded.
Certain hypocrisies are obvious and easier to avoid, such as believing in washing hands after going to the toilet.
Good manners are bit more difficult.
Emotional issues are harder still. Some people think whatever they get upset about is earth-shattering and whatever others are bothered about is rather unimportant. They blame their friends and family for not showing enough empathy when they are struck with a problem. The same people do not hesitate to tell others that they have to rough out when in trouble.
Although it is our immediate biological reaction to make our situation, either good or bad, look much more attention worthy than others', civilized people resist that urge, according to you.
Yes! One of the cases that I find not so obvious at first and rather sinister is a person who professes to be against war, but domineering at home and work.
Because war is all about dominating others?
Certainly. He may claim that he does not kill people at home or work, but he does not show enough respect for the people around him and does not hesitate to intimidate and manipulate. In my opinion, lack of respect and empathy is what lies at the core of any conflict.
Does he happen to be a children's rights activist, a vegan and a tree hugger to boot?
Scary, isn't it? Another may be a person who cries over a squirrel that got flattened by a car and a mouse killed by a poison-laced bait, but goes back home to have a steak dinner.
It may have been for display effects, you know, for the people who were around when the dead squirrel and mouse were discovered. But what about the collection of mosquitoes that you killed? I saw your opening the box and counting with glee.
It's not that I take joy in killing, but mosquitoes! They can finish me if I don't finish them. I admit, I would be a total failure as a Jain.
Pity that you attract mosquitoes by the dozen, but not much else. By the way, if you want to make a true contribution to the environment, you should kill yourself and ask to be converted into fertilizer of sorts.
You have just branded all environmentalists, who are not ready to or did not commit suicide, hypocrites!
We have to draw a line somewhere, as you've already implied. It is very unlikely, though, that we agree on where that line should be drawn.
I know a good definition for it. Nobody would label a person whom s/he likes a hypocrite.
If you like her/him, s/he is not a hypocrite. If you don't, s/he may or may not be. If you hate her/him, s/he is definitely a hypocrite. Is this how it works?
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